Chrisman

I believe I should briefly mention that my incredibly awesome brother Chris graduated from college and is headed to Emory for a PhD in immunology.

Elder Christofferson delivered an excellent commencement address at the graduation. The essence of his message was that while academic accomplishments are important, they should not distract us from the most important element of life: our moral quality. Elder Christofferson quoted Hugh Nibley as saying that the point of life is to be morally tested. Everything else we do is “just dabbling.”

I’ve had that phrase running through my head ever since graduation. It’s so liberating: it means I can investigate things that I think might be interesting, or fun, or unusual, but whether it’s work or hobbies or travel or whatever, it’s just a small part of what I’m really trying to do.

It reminded me a little of the message my parents are always trying to get into us: that you should perform well, but it won’t matter unless you’re also good. My boss Alice is the same way. She has multiple advanced degrees, she’s raised a good family, she’s lived in Europe, she knows all the experts in her field, she all but single-handedly runs the company, and yet she’s the most humble, likeable person you could meet. She treats me like a peer even though I’m decades of experience and capability behind her. When she talks about her children, she mentions their awards and honors in passing, but focuses on who they are as people.

That’s what made Elder Christofferson’s speech so appropriate for Chris’s graduation. Because my brother Chris, as I believe I mentioned, is fabulous. I’ve looked up to him for years—and not just because he’s a foot taller than me. He’s brilliant: he had top scholarships, published papers, aced classes, and got wined (non-alcoholically, of course) and dined at almost a dozen graduate schools. He’s daring: he likes all kinds of wild hobbies, from scuba diving to rock climbing to performing in talent shows. He’s hilarious: he’s constantly teasing and playing with words. He’s artistic: he sings, he dances, he writes poetry, he tries to turn bachelor apartments into something attractive enough to live in. He’s a great cook: of pretty much everything. He’s dashingly handsome. And yet all of that dabbling is just the ornamentation on the real substance: Chris is as morally sure, as gentle, as sensitive, as humble, as perceptive, as caring, as genuine a person as you could find. It’s a good thing there isn’t a graduation for character, because he’d be wearing so many robes and stoles and medals and ribbons and tassels he wouldn’t be able to walk. And that would be embarrassing.